My thoughts I hope will finally be laid to rest. Finally I managed to sit down with B and we finally talked. I hope I had made some sense to him when I said that we broke up because we broke down in communication. I hope that I had made him realized that it isn't just me that caused it all. Yes, my drama would have perpetuated it but his silence fuelled the whole thing. He retorted saying, ya, can you do with less drama and I retorted back, can you talk a bit more?
I don't hope that we will get back together. But I do hope that we can start salvaging the friendship and see where it leads to. I still find it amazing that when we sit down and communicate, we can work things out. But when we are apart, it is just all hell break loose.
His natural defense mechanism is to clam up and hope the problem resolves itself. And usually it does and then, it becomes the silent elephant in the room. Quiet, invisible but you can feel its presence enveloping you. So, here I am trying to chart another way for our relationship, not ignoring the issues but trying slowly to unravel the issues. He used to say that he needs to find a way to blunt my edginess. Now, I need to find a way to slowly bring him out of the cocoon.
He made one remark yesterday, so instead of messaging, maybe I should just meet him. And i replied back, trying to get you to meet me took a month and you were reluctant! So, how do you suggest we do this? Sometimes we are so fixated on the problems that it caused to forget we had all the good things going for us.
And I guess, I'll still try. I haven't given up hope but I'm not clinging on to it. Come what may, come what be in this life. With all the recent happenings, I think we all deserve a second chance. Love, Faith, Hope. Those are the 3 things that I can hold on to.
And I came across this quote and it kind of put everything into perspective for me.
“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fucking phone call.”
― Greg Behrendt
And I came across this quote and it kind of put everything into perspective for me.
“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fucking phone call.”
― Greg Behrendt