After Us

I watched a short clip today. It's called After Us, by WongFu Productions. It was a clip on how a girl recovers from a break up and stages to go through. And one line from the short clip kept coming back to me. "It's ok, take your time"

I asked myself recently, how is it that I can have some form of success in my work life yet, my personal life is such a shitty existence. Love, romance and all that lovey dovey stuff had taken a backseat in the last 4 years. I know where it came from. To be honest, I know I would give anything to avoid feeling the way I did 4 years back at this same period of the year. I had split up with the one guy that I thought was the love of my life and the one guy I had ever thought I would settle down with. It was at that point in time where I had not left my room for a week, getting myself out from the bed was a chore that was too big of a mountain to climb. I had not been able to function for at least 1 whole month. I was lucky I wasn't fired from my job and I didn't commit suicide.

Looking back, I felt ridiculous. He was just a man, nothing more, nothing less. But at that point in time, he was my everything. I had idolized him and I had done a lot of silly things and created expectations that no one could have met. I was young and foolishly in love in my own ideals. 

Four years later, I met him for brunch last weekend. He had gotten himself engaged, and by his own words, very miserable. I have been single for a year and starting to love myself a lot more and took time out for myself. I saw him after a long while and how shocked I was when I realized how he had become. He was actually, for a lack of a better word, shackled. I realized that he would have been like that had we stayed on in our relationship. And that would be the last thing, I would have wanted him to be. And it would be the very last thing I want to be in, an unhappy relationship.

So for some odd reasons, I had set myself free from my own self imposed world. And I finally know and realized now, I have well and truly moved on from my own shackles. After us....