Memories and Expectations

You sometimes know that some stuff or people are a thing of past when all you could remember about that said thing was just the good happy memory. It's like we forgot how much that pain or hurt we felt. I'm always amazed at how much my brain can block off all that. Maybe it is a just our defence mechanism to continuously be happy. 

Then, there's another side of it. Expectations. How we expect ourselves to behave and others to fall into place. A good case study would be me and B. We were good friends and we had different expectations. When all hell broke loose, we just couldn't piece things together during the rough patch. After that, it just went down the drain. But we recently met up and that's when I realised that we had some good times and we could be friends again. Just not in a relationship and definitely we have different expectations. 

And that's when you tell yourself that this is the time to let go. Its time to give yourself that reality check of what went wrong, what went right, lessons learnt and expectations to be set. At the end of it, I'm happy I still have my friend back and come what may, life will go on and there will be someone out there for me. There is a saying if you can remain as friends after the breakup, it could either mean you are both still in love or you never were. I used to wonder about that but now, it doesn't matter anymore. It doesn't carry anymore weight for me. 

Although I must say that what I missed having with B is the fact that I never had a guy that adored me that much. That he would miss me a lot and say it. Then, I could irritate him so much that he would want to bite me. I never had that before. I now know that I deserve all that attention and adoration a guy could give me. Yes, till now, I don't know what went wrong and I'm putting it down as life's mystery.