I lost my daddy on the 28th January 2013 to liver cancer, or to be more accurate, hepatocellular carcinoma. He had battled this for 2 years and he lost the battle. It wasn't easy for us to see his downward slide. But, he passed away surrounded by all of us family members and his loved ones. Everyone that he had loved came by to say their goodbyes and their love. Not all that passed away has that luxury and the blessed feeling. I had never knew my Dad had affected so many people in his life and those that attended the wake were in awe of him and us. He had brought us up well and garnered a lot of people's respect.
I miss him nowadays especially when Chinese New Year is tomorrow and usually by now, the house is decorated with loads of red decoration and flowers and songs blasting. He would have loved watching all the tv shows now. CNY is probably his favorite time of the year and he alway looks forward to all of us at home with him and mom.
It still feels like he just went away for a couple of days. The first few days after his funeral, everything seems like one big blur. Lost, confusion, still calling out for him. I still say his name during dinner and I could still feel his presence around us.
This will be the first year that we are celebrating CNY without him and this is his year, year of snake. I already miss him a lot. I'm not going to force myself to stop crying or stop missing him. But it gets easier day by day to talk about him without crying and to stop tearing everytime I just think about him.
Daddy, I miss you loads. Wherever you are now, I hope you know that you are missed dearly and we love you loads. Daddy, good night.
